You know what happens when you Google everything like I do? You find out some pretty simple definitions of things that actually blow your mind. I Googled “enough is enough” and the definition was this: no more will be tolerated. That’s it. Plain and simple and yet, bam, right to the core of my heart.
NO MORE WILL BE TOLERATED.
At the recent Prism :: Overcome gathering, we were asked to write a word on a rock that would counter a lie we have believed, or be a reminder to us of what God is overcoming in our lives. The Lord revealed to me that my struggle has been people-pleasing, codependency, saying yes to everything leading to exhaustion, and suffering from a crippling fear of disapproval. So when I asked the Lord for my word, He said:
Write enough. You are enough, Brianna. You are not perfect, but what you bring to the table is enough. I make up for your lack. In your weakness, I am strong. And every time you see the word enough on that rock, you will hear Me saying to you 2 things:
1) You are enough to Me.
2) Enough is Enough.
Stop trying to get from others what can only be fulfilled through Me. After all, aren’t you tired, daughter?
“Yes. Yes, I am. So tired.”
Enough is enough.
No more will be tolerated.
And since that weekend I have been on a new journey of seeking His heart in a new way. I’m allowing Him to love me—in all the ways that make me squirm. For example, today I woke up to a mass email from some marketing company and the email title said, “Brianna, You’re amazing!” And it just made me think, bleh. Squirm. Writhe. Noooooo.
And it reminded me how I don’t know how to accept that Jesus would say this to me, and yet I so desperately want to hear it from Him.
If He were to greet me in the morning with an email, I think it would look a lot like that. And I can’t seem to understand why He would.
And then I remember that I have been made perfect in Christ because of His finished work. He sees Himself in me. So I don’t need to hide like Eve did. I can come out of hiding now. Being enough doesn’t mean I have arrived to perfection; it means I have embraced His perfection over my mediocrity. It means I can hold hands with Abba without feeling like He will tug away when I falter.
My, oh my, how the enemy has lied to me about my Daddy. And it will no longer be tolerated.
In his beautiful work, Abba’s Child, codependency and people-pleasing is what Brennan Manning admits of himself and calls the Impostor—the false self. The seeking for an identity rooted in other people, material things, definitions of success, and imaginary circumstances. As I have been reading and reflecting on this, it makes me think of my past three decades of life and wonder, Have I ever really known and trusted the love of Abba?
So, enough is enough. This is what He is freeing me from: my own shackles of pride and of fear. The isolation of not really letting people see my frailties. Not letting Jesus be my Savior. Not letting Him be the Father of this prodigal who grabs my shoulders and embraces me, no questions asked. Now I am wondering if I have been the Prodigal Daughter sitting on the porch, head bowed low in shame, unable to allow Him to love me and lead me inside into the Feast.
Do you, like me, have trouble believing He loves you, no matter what? Do you seek after the things Solomon—to be rich in every way, as written in Ecclesiastes, only to be tired and reminded that it really is all a “chasing after the wind”?
Let’s get off the porch and enter into the Feast. It’s where we belong. Just writing that astounds me. Belong.
We just have to believe Him at His word when we hear Him say, “Beloved, come.”
Holly Bossert21.05.2015 at 04:23