God…can you hear me? Where are you?

Why do you have me here? How can I be used by you when I am so consumed with everything inside of me? Desperately seeking answers and miraculous healing for myself for so long without clear revelation or change. Wondering what has this all been for. Hearing silence.

Then I step outside of myself briefly and meet a scared, courageous woman who has been in bondage for so long. She reaches out, afraid but desperate. I think to myself, I don’t have much to offer her. Then God speaks, after what seems like so long: “This is what it’s for, my daughter. Use your story to give the hope of Jesus.”

How powerful our words and honesty can be with another broken human.

I doubt. I’m not good enough yet, but I know He says that doesn’t matter. I know I am not what I say I am; I am all He says I am. The greatest healing is found when you can bless someone while going through your own storm.

So I lay myself bare, push through the pressure to “have it all together,” and am completely vulnerable.

Little by little, I step outside of myself. More and more, He puts people in my path, and He tells me again and again, “This is what it was for, my daughter.” Little by little, I begin to believe Him and watch others find freedom while finding it myself. My story is not over; their story is not over, but that doesn’t matter. Every piece of my testimony can be used by this almighty God I serve. All it takes is an open, honest, and willing heart.

Every mistake, every hopeless moment, all the worry, fear, anxiety, confusion, doubt, brokenness. These are not wasted. These are not things to look back and regret. These are all pages beautifully written in the most powerful story God has for us to give—our testimony.

"And they overcame by the blood of the lamb, and the word of their testimony." -Revelation 12:11

I believe in a God who doesn’t waste anything. We are prepared by our pasts for the incredible things God already has for our futures. My story is real, my story is perseverance, my story is His strength in my weakness.

My story is not over yet. And neither is yours.