Since I can remember, I have always been an old soul. I can recall when I was in my late teen years, being drawn to the Old Testament and, most specifically, to Jeremiah and Isaiah. I loved how they interpreted and shared the Lord's voice over Israel. However, I do recall thinking, "Man, the prophets are so truthful and tell it like it is...
I remember a time when following Jesus felt impossible. I would wake up every day and think to myself, “This is just too hard. I can’t” What I didn't know at the time was how much I needed community and purpose. I desperately needed a spiritual family and for someone to tell me how I fit into that family. I needed to belong. I longed to find my purpose. Fast-forward many years later, through which God moved me forward and filled so many spaces I needed filled. I was standing outside on a dark street, the only light shining from one streetlamp,...
For the first thirty-four years of my life, I figured it was just me—too sensitive, too perceptive, too everything. I isolated myself to do everyone a favor. When I visited Phoenix over spring break in 2012, my brother called because he wanted me to meet a friend. He felt bad that I’d never had a mentor, even though I had mentored so many, so he arranged for Kathy and me to meet each other for coffee. An hour before I was to meet Kathy, a vomiting migraine pummeled me. But when you’re desperate, even searing pain won’t stop you from getting what...
[dropcaps type='normal' color='' background_color='' border_color='']S[/dropcaps]he came up to me after I was done speaking to the group of women that had gathered at Prism :: Overcome. She spoke encouragement and life over me. Then she referenced my talk--the bit where I had expressed some of my darkest fears--the fears that have, at times, dictated how I behaved and what I believed about the Lord. I had confessed to the women there that I believed from time to time that while God had absolutely wonderful, bountiful gifts for everyone else, I wasn’t sure if He had the same for me. Did God really love...
[dropcaps type='circle' color='' background_color='' border_color='']F[/dropcaps]iguring things out on your own. Keeping your problems, victories, fears, hopes and dreams to yourself. Keeping it all together and powering through with all you have. Proving to yourself you are strong enough on your own. Leaning on others for support, wisdom, and encouragement. Letting people see who you are, your deepest fears, insecurities, hopes, and dreams. Being exposed in and honest about faults, failures and frailties. Looking to be accepted and supported and not judged and abandoned. Which of these scares you the most? In my life I have always leaned towards being an "open book." I desire...
On the heels of one of the hardest years of my life, I naively assumed that this year would be easier--lighter--more bearable. I thought that certainly God would, at some critical point, swoop in and rescue me. He would save the day. I was sure of it. But, difficult days continued to be rolled out before me. I was hurting both physically and emotionally. I was spiritually anemic. I was holding on to a kernel of faith and on most days I was starving for hope, in any form. I honestly didn’t know what to do. I asked for prayer. Then I...
Am I the only one who wonders about the dialogue that takes place between Eve and the serpent in the Garden of Eden as he stands before her, offering her a bite of fruit? I wonder why she gives him the time of day. Why hadn't she seen the attack a mile away? The enemy is so subtle that maybe the goal all along was to instill fear in people’s minds and hearts. As soon as Adam and Eve sinned, they were aware of the very clear divide between humankind and God. Their thoughts were probably racing—Oh, man, this was supposed to lead us to more...
Shepherd. Striving to draw out beauty, strength, and freedom in all people through truth and love. Creative. Finding unique ways to delight the eyes, ears, minds, and souls of people, all with the expectation of Jesus Christ shining through even brighter. I have always drawn an eclectic crowd, if you will. Since I was young I always loved, appreciated and connected with different personalities, ages, and walks of life. I never quite fit into one single group. I had several different "friend groups" and just coasted around enjoying all of them in different ways. Have you ever thought, where do I fit...
I think I’ve always been a bit of a rebel, perhaps not openly, but I can’t remember a time when I haven’t quietly pushed back against “norms,” or “traditions,” or the culture. Long before I knew Jesus, I balked at convention and questioned authority. None of that stopped after I met Him either. If anything, the questions grew larger, but so did my God. However, I quickly learned that the church, as a whole, has little room and virtually no tolerance for a “trouble maker,” let alone a young female one. You can be a zealot for Jesus, of course, but...
Twenty years ago, when I was wild with wonder about the Lord’s purposes for my life, I sipped café mochas with my college classmates and contemplated the big deals of life: calling, purpose, pain. I asked how if our testimonies had been sullied—occupied with abuse and loss and depression, as mine was—how were we of any value to God’s people? I don’t remember the name of the young man sitting across from me, but I remember his strawberry blond hair. His eyebrows were thick and almost translucent; they lit up his face. He looked at me and deliberated aloud about the...